This morning Sister Mary Claire and I read the meditation for St. John before Mass, while the church was still quiet and cold and everything felt extra still—like the world was holding its breath after Christmas.
It said St. John loved Jesus with such a clean heart that he could rest close to Him at the Last Supper, right against His Sacred Heart. I kept thinking about that word clean… not just hands and aprons and kitchen towels, but a clean heart—like nothing sticky inside, nothing mean, nothing secret that I wouldn’t want Jesus to find.
Sister told me, “Purity of heart doesn’t mean you never get tempted, Kathy. It means you don’t invite the ugly thoughts in and make a home for them.” That helped me, because sometimes thoughts come like cold wind sneaking under the door.
Father LeRoy expounded on it in his homily and said St. John was trusted because his love was simple and true—like a child’s love. Then Father talked about how Jesus gave Mary to St. John at the Cross and said, “Behold thy mother.” Father said it’s like Jesus was making a warm family right in the middle of sorrow—so no one would be alone. I looked at Sister then, and I felt that same thing: like our little life is tucked under Mary’s mantle if we let it be.
After Mass it was another clear, cold day—blue sky and bright sun that doesn’t warm much, but makes everything sparkle anyway. We made a quick trip to Indian Creek. The path was crunchy under our boots, and the air pinched my nose. We visited Shaggy Coat (he was busy, like always) and then we went to the Blessed Mother at the grotto. I stood there and tried to be quiet in my thoughts—not just quiet in my mouth—and I asked Mary to help me love Jesus the way St. John did: close up, not far away.
Tonight, as I’m writing this, I keep remembering the line: “Blessed are the clean of heart.” I want to be that kind of blessed—not the loud kind, but the kind that makes room for Jesus to stay.
Evening Prayer
O Jesus, give me a clean heart like a little white dish that’s been rinsed and set out for You. Dear Mary, be my Mother and keep me close to Your Son. St. John, help me love Jesus simply and truly. Amen.
Resolution
For love of Jesus and Mary, I will guard my heart today—especially my eyes, my words, and my thoughts—and I will choose what is pure and kind.
Love, Kathy.
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