Good Friday Night

 
Dear Diary,

Tonight I prayed and asked Jesus to give me a real love for Him, gentle and strong. Good Friday makes me sorry for my sins, but it also makes me feel safe, because Jesus loves us so much.

Mini stayed close, sweet as ever, and that made everything feel even more peaceful. I want to love Jesus truly, not just with words, but in the little things too.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus,

please give me a real love for You, gentle and strong.

Bless Sister Mary Claire, bless dear little Mini, and keep us close to Your Sacred Heart tonight.

Amen.

Love,

Kathy

The Cows are Out

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up from the strangest dream. I dreamed one of the cows was peeking right in my bedroom window while more of them were running loose outside and around my room. It felt so real that I opened my eyes fast and looked toward the window.

Then Sister Mary Claire laughed and told me she had whispered in my ear while I was waking up that the cows were out. She said it was an April Fools’ joke, and I guess my sleepy mind turned it into a whole dream.

Afterward Sister explained the difference between a little shenanigan and a lie. She said a lie is meant to deceive, but a harmless joke is found out quickly and shared with laughter, not meant to hurt or truly frighten somebody. I thought that was a very good way to explain it.

We both laughed then, and I felt better knowing the cows were safe where they belonged. My little resolution today is to be truthful always, and also kind, even in joking.

Morning Prayer

Dear Jesus, thank You for this new month and for Sister Mary Claire, who teaches me so gently. Please help me to love the truth, keep a cheerful heart, and always be kind. Amen.

Love, Kathy

Jesus on The Cross

Dear Diary,

This early morning Sister Mary Claire and I stayed tucked in bed a little longer with Mini curled in close, and we read today’s meditation together. It was about Jesus hanging on the Cross while people mocked Him and said cruel things, and yet He still prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The meditation says He bore not only terrible pain, but also ridicule and contempt, and that He answered it all with silence, mercy, and love. It also says we should learn from Him to be humble, to bear little hurts quietly, and to excuse the faults of others instead of making them bigger.


I thought how hard that must have been for Jesus, because mean words can hurt so much even when they are small, and His suffering was so much greater than anything I have ever known. Sister said that when Jesus prayed for His enemies, He was showing us His Heart right in the middle of pain. That made me feel very quiet inside. Mini had her little nose tucked near the blanket, and somehow the whole bed felt like a tiny chapel while the morning light was just beginning.


I want to remember that my own little pride can make me touchy and quick to feel hurt. But Jesus, who was treated so terribly, did not strike back. He loved. He forgave. He even made excuses for those who did not understand what they were doing. I think that is such a beautiful and sorrowful thing. I would like to be softer today, and not so ready to mind every little thing.


Morning Prayer


Dear Jesus, when I begin to feel hurt or proud, please help me remember You on the Cross. Teach me to be humble, quiet, and kind. Give me a heart that does not hold onto little grievances, but forgives with love. Let me stay close to You and learn from Your patience. And please bless Sister Mary Claire, little Mini, and our whole day from the very start. Amen.

A Quiet Day After Palm Sunday

March 30

Dear Diary,

After Church, Robert brought us back home. Then Sister Mary Claire and I spent the day at home with Mini. We did some spring cleaning, and later we read and talked over today’s meditation together. It was a quiet day after a beautiful Palm Sunday.

The meditation was about the inscription placed over Jesus on the Cross, and how even there He was shown to the world as King. Sister said it is a wonder to think that our dear Lord, so hurt and humbled, was still truly reigning from the Cross. Not like an earthly king with banners and soldiers, but with love, suffering, and mercy.

I kept thinking how beautiful it is that Jesus did not come to rule by force, but by giving Himself. The meditation made me think that I should not want to look important or be praised, but should be glad to belong to Him quietly. Sister Mary Claire said that if Jesus is really the King of my heart, then I ought to let Him have His way in little things too, especially when I would rather be proud, stubborn, or noticed.

That stayed with me all through the afternoon.

Sometimes I think I want Jesus to be my King, but I do not always want the humility that comes with loving Him. Yet today’s meditation made me want to bow my head a little more sweetly and say, yes, Lord, rule over me. Be my King in my thoughts, in my words, and even in the little hidden corners of my heart.

By evening the house looked nicer, the day had grown still, and it felt good to sit down quietly together. Palm Sunday has passed, but it seemed to leave behind a kind of hush, as if Holy Week had come and was asking us to stay very close to Jesus.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, my crucified King,

Thank You for this quiet day and for bringing us home safely from Church.

Thank You for Robert, for Sister Mary Claire, and for dear little Mini.

Please clean my heart even better than we cleaned the house today.

Make me humble, gentle, and glad to belong to You.

Teach me to honor You not only with my prayers,

but with the little things I do all through the day.

Rule over my heart, dear Jesus,

and help me stay close to You during these holy days.

And please bless our home tonight with Your peace.

Amen.

Love,

Kathy

Palm Sunday at Bedtime

 

Dear Diary,

Tonight Sister Mary Claire and I listened to Bishop Barron’s homily right before bed, and it made the room feel very still and serious, like when the church goes quiet during the Passion reading. Mini was curled up close beside us and looked so sleepy, but I was trying hard to listen to every word.

Bishop Barron talked about Palm Sunday being called Passion Sunday too, because we hear the whole sad story of what happened to Jesus. What stayed with me most was what he said about Judas. I always think of Judas as the one who betrayed Our Lord, and that is true, but tonight I kept thinking about how sorry he was afterward. It made me feel such a strange sadness inside, because it showed me that sin is awful, but also that God’s mercy is bigger than we can understand.

Sister Mary Claire said that even when people go very wrong, God still pursues them with mercy. I liked that word pursues. It made me think of Jesus not turning away, but still calling, still loving, still wanting the sinner to come back. Even the worst sinner is not forgotten by Him. That made me feel comforted, because if Our Lord is that merciful, then I should never be afraid to run back to Him with my little faults and failings.

Palm Sunday feels both beautiful and sorrowful to me. The palms are joyful, but the Passion is so heavy. Tonight it seemed to me that Jesus walked right into all that suffering with His Heart open. And even in the middle of betrayal and sadness, His mercy was still there.

After the homily, I said my evening prayer and tried to tell Jesus I was sorry for every time I have been careless in loving Him. I asked Him to keep me close this Holy Week and not let me wander far away.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus,

thank You for letting me listen to words tonight that made me think about Your mercy.

Please have mercy on me too, and on everyone who feels far away from You.

Keep Sister Mary Claire and little Mini safe through the night,

and help me stay near Your Heart all through Holy Week.

Amen.

Love, Kathy  

Getting Ready for Palm Sunday

Dear Diary,

Tonight Sister Mary Claire and I read the meditation about the soldiers casting lots for Our Lord’s garments while He hung upon the Cross. It made me feel so sad to think of Jesus being stripped of even the last thing He had, and how even then He was still pouring out His Precious Blood for us. Sister said people can still treat Him coldly now, especially when they forget His love in the Blessed Sacrament, and that made me want to love Him more and never be careless with holy things.


Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, and Sister Mary Claire and I will go to Mass again, and Robert will give us a ride. I am glad of that, because Palm Sunday always feels so solemn and tender to me, like Our Lord is entering Jerusalem in meekness even though He knows the sorrow ahead. I want to go with a quieter heart this year and not be thinking about my own little comforts so much.


I hope when I hold the palm tomorrow I will remember that Jesus gave up everything for love of us, even His garments, even His Blood, and that I should not be stingy in loving Him back. Sister Mary Claire said that when we learn to be content with little, our hearts are freer for God. I think that must be true. Even a small sacrifice, if it is given lovingly, can make room for Jesus.


Mini was with us this evening while we read, resting so close by as if she knew Holy Week is beginning. The house felt peaceful, and I was thankful for Sister, for Robert giving us a ride tomorrow, and for the quiet way Jesus teaches us through these meditations.


Evening Prayer


Dear Jesus,

thank You for shedding Your Precious Blood for me.
Please forgive me for all my carelessness and teach me to love You better.
Help me not cling too tightly to little earthly things, but to keep my heart free for You.

Bless Sister Mary Claire, good Robert, and dear little Mini tonight, and let us go to Palm Sunday Mass with reverence and love.

Amen.

Morning Prayer at Littlemore

A Quiet Kind of Sadness

 

Dear Diary,

Today I think I understood something a little better, even though it made me feel sad.

When I said the prayer again—“O most holy and afflicted Virgin”—I started to feel why it sounds the way it does. It isn’t just words. It feels like kneeling right beside Our Lady while she stands at the Cross.

It says she watched the “agony of thy expiring Son” and that her whole life was full of sorrow, and I think that’s what I was feeling today—not just sadness, but a kind of love that hurts because it cares so much.

And when I said, “look down with a mother’s tenderness and pity on me,” I almost felt like I wanted her to see me and understand. Not just my little troubles, but that I want to love Jesus too, even when it’s hard or sad.

The part that stayed with me the most was when it said she “drank so deeply of the chalice” of Jesus’ suffering. That means she didn’t turn away. She stayed. And maybe that’s what we are doing right now in Lent—staying with Him, even when it hurts our hearts.

I think my sadness today was not just being sad… it was being close.

Close to Jesus.

Close to Our Lady.

And maybe that’s why the Church lets us walk through all of this again, even though it’s already over—so we don’t forget how much love was in it.

I still whispered, “When will Easter come?”

But now I think… we are walking toward it together.

Tonight I will listen to my recording again and try to stay there quietly, not rushing away.

Evening Prayer:

O most holy and afflicted Virgin, help me to stay with you at the foot of the Cross, and to love Jesus even when my heart feels heavy. Amen.

Love,

Kathy