Patient Faith at Lourdes

June 11, 1956

Dear Diary,

Robert came early this morning to pick up Sister Mary Claire, Mini, and me. He had been reading ahead in Our Lady of Lourdes and said he could hardly stop. On the way to St. Mary’s, he talked about Bernadette, the spring, the crowds, and what might happen next.

After Holy Mass, Father LeRoy invited everyone downstairs to the parish hall for the Reading Club. He reminded folks that copies of Our Lady of Lourdes were still available at the back of the church.

We met just like the first time, around the tables in the parish hall. Sister Mary Claire counted ten in attendance, counting Mini.

“That is pretty good for a small congregation,” Sister whispered.

Father LeRoy opened with a prayer. Then he looked at me and smiled.

“Kathy, I believe you have today’s summary,” he said.

I stood up with my paper in both hands. My heart beat fast, but Sister Mary Claire gave me a little nod, and Mini sat beside my chair as if she were listening too.

I read:

“Part 5 is about M. Massy, a government official who did not believe the events at Lourdes were from God. Instead of waiting patiently for the Church to investigate, he wanted to stop everything quickly. He had the Grotto watched day and night and arranged for soldiers and police to be ready near Lourdes.

“What struck me most is that the people had been peaceful, but the officials acted as if trouble was already coming. The Bishop waited carefully, but M. Massy rushed ahead. I think this chapter shows the difference between patient faith and fearful control.”

When I finished, Father LeRoy nodded kindly.

“Well done, Kathy,” he said.

Robert started clapping first, and then everyone joined in. Mini looked around as if she thought the applause might be for her.

After that, the discussion began. Robert said the people at the Grotto seemed peaceful. They were praying, filling bottles from the spring, and going home.

“Why send soldiers if nobody is causing trouble?” he asked.

Father LeRoy said large crowds can make officials uneasy, especially when something unexpected is happening.

“Fear often grows when people think they must control everything,” Father said. “The Bishop was willing to wait and learn more. Others wanted answers immediately.”

Sister Mary Claire said the Bishop’s patience impressed her most.

“Patience is often quieter than force,” she said, “but much wiser.”

Then Father LeRoy said, “Truth is never harmed by an honest investigation.”

I liked that very much and wrote it in my notebook.

Afterward Father LeRoy brought out Krispy Kreme doughnuts, coffee, and hot cocoa. Everyone stayed a while longer, talking about Lourdes and what might happen next. Mini made her rounds beneath the tables, collecting smiles and a few crumbs.

On the way home, Robert said he might read just one more chapter tonight.

Sister Mary Claire laughed and said, “Only one?”

I think she knows him pretty well.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, thank You for Holy Mass, for our Reading Club, and for friends who love the story of Lourdes. Help me to be patient when I do not understand something right away. Teach me to seek the truth with a peaceful heart and never to rush to judgment. Bless Father LeRoy, Sister Mary Claire, Robert, Mini, and everyone who came today. Amen.

Good night, dear Diary.

Love,
Kathy

Resolution: Tomorrow I will try to listen carefully before making up my mind.

Dear Jesus, You know that I love You.

Click to Read

A Good Man’s Doubt

 
Dear Diary,

After Holy Mass this morning, everyone gathered in the parish hall for our Lourdes Reading Club. Father LeRoy had a table waiting with Crispy Creme doughnuts, coffee for the grown-ups, and hot cocoa for the rest of us. Mini sat very politely beside my chair, hoping someone might accidentally drop a crumb. There were six people at the meeting today, and seven if you counted Mini, which I always do.

When everyone had settled in, Father asked if I would read my little review of Part 4 from Our Lady of Lourdes.

I told them that this chapter was mostly about the Prefect, M. Massy, one of the government officials watching the events at Lourdes. He was a good Catholic man who believed the miracles in the Bible, but he had trouble believing God might still be working miracles in his own time. He liked rules, laws, and order, and he thought everything should stay within those boundaries.

What struck me most was that he was not a bad man at all. In fact, he was intelligent, honest, and respected by everyone. The author seemed to be saying that sometimes good people can become so certain of their own understanding that they have difficulty recognizing something new when God places it right before them.

Father LeRoy nodded when I finished and said that humility is important because God often surprises us. Sister Mary Claire said that sometimes faith begins when we admit we do not have all the answers.

I thought that sounded very much like Bishop Laurence, who was carefully listening to all the evidence instead of rushing to a conclusion.

Afterward we enjoyed doughnuts and hot cocoa while everyone talked about what might happen next in the story. Mini received several pats on the head and looked very pleased with herself. She may not understand Lourdes, but she certainly understands doughnuts.

The afternoon was quiet back at Camp Littlemore. I spent some time reading on the porch steps while Mini lay nearby in the shade. The fields looked greener than they did just a few days ago, and the breeze carried the smell of fresh-cut hay from somewhere down the road.

Tonight I am thinking about how easy it must be to miss God’s work when we become too certain of ourselves. I hope I can always keep a little room in my heart for wonder.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for Holy Mass, for good friends, and for another chapter of the story of Lourdes. Help me to be humble and willing to listen when You speak. Give me wisdom like the Bishop, faith like Bernadette, and a heart that is open to Your surprises.

Bless Father LeRoy, Sister Mary Claire, Robert, and everyone in our reading club. Please watch over Mini while she sleeps tonight.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us.

Amen.

Good night, Dear Diary.

Love,

Kathy

The Reading Clubs First Meeting

Dear Diary,

This morning Robert came early for Mass, but the day was so lovely that Sister Mary Claire said we ought to walk. Robert parked by the chicken house and walked the last half mile with us to St. Mary’s.

The fields looked greener than yesterday, and Mini trotted happily in front of us. After Mass, the Reading Club met for the first time near the back pews. Father LeRoy had his copy of Our Lady of Lourdes and said there were plenty of books at the back of the church for anyone who wanted to read along. Sister Mary Claire sat beside me, Robert stood quietly nearby, and Mini tucked herself close under the pew.

Then Father LeRoy asked me to read the summary I had written out.

My hands felt warm and nervous on the paper, but Sister gave me a small nod.

This is what I read:

Today’s chapter is about the Bishop’s discernment.

Abbé Peyramale went to Bishop Laurence and told him all that had been happening at Lourdes. He explained about Bernadette’s visions, the words spoken by the Apparition, the spring that came forth, the sudden cures, and the great stirring of the whole town.

The Bishop listened carefully, but he did not believe too quickly. He knew that God can do marvelous things, even through a poor little girl, but he also knew that such things must be tested. The chapter says he was like St. Thomas, because he wished to see before he believed.

I think this was wise. If Bishop Laurence had believed at once, people might have said he was carried away by excitement. But because he waited and asked for true proofs, his belief would mean more when the time came.

There were many reports, much confusion, and many excited people in Lourdes. Abbé Peyramale himself had not seen everything with his own eyes. The Bishop understood that sometimes we must stand at a little distance from events before we can see them clearly.

So he did not say yes, and he did not say no. He chose to wait, observe, and gather trustworthy reports. He did not remove the order keeping the clergy from the Grotto, but he arranged to be informed each day about what happened there, especially the cures.

I think Bishop Laurence teaches us that the Church is not afraid to wait. If the events were false, time would uncover the error. But if they were from God, they would grow stronger and prove themselves.

When I finished reading, I folded my paper and looked down for a moment. Then Father LeRoy said, “Very good, Kathy. That is exactly what discernment means. The Bishop was not closing his heart. He was guarding the truth.”

Sister Mary Claire said softly that prudence is not the enemy of faith. It is one of the ways faith stays honest.

Robert said he liked the part about standing at a little distance to see things clearly. He said farmers know that too, because sometimes you cannot see the shape of a field when you are standing right in the middle of it.

That made everyone smile, even Father.

On the way home, I thought about Bernadette and Bishop Laurence at the same time. Bernadette had to be simple and obedient. The Bishop had to be careful and patient. Both had their own duty before God.

I hope I can learn both lessons. I want to believe with a simple heart, but I also want to love the truth enough to wait for it.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, please help me to be faithful like Bernadette and wise like Bishop Laurence. Teach me not to rush ahead of the truth, and not to be afraid when something must be tested. Bless Father LeRoy, Sister Mary Claire, Robert, Mini, and our little Reading Club at St. Mary’s. May every chapter bring us closer to You and to Our Blessed Mother.

Resolution

Tomorrow I will try to listen carefully before I speak, and remember that truth does not need to hurry.

Click to Read this Chapter

The Reading Club

Dear Diary,

This morning Good Neighbor Robert came early to pick us up for Holy Mass, but it was such a gorgeous day that we all decided to walk the half mile to St. Mary’s instead. Mini was the happiest of all and trotted ahead with her big smile, then came running back as if she wanted to hurry the rest of us along.

As we came near the church, I saw a banner stretched across the front lawn. I knew it was a banner right away, but we were still too far off to read what it said. Mini noticed something was different too, and ran ahead as fast as her little legs would go to see what was happening. When we got closer, I could finally see the words: St. Mary’s Reading Club — Our Lady of Lourdes — Our First Book.

I stopped right in the road, because then I knew this was no ordinary morning.

Sister Mary Claire looked at Robert, and Robert looked at the ground, trying not to smile too much. Then I knew they had planned it together and kept it as a surprise. There was even a smaller sign saying the books were available at the back of the church and donated by Robert.

After Mass, Father LeRoy announced it properly. He said St. Mary’s was beginning a reading club, and the first book would be Our Lady of Lourdes. He held up his own copy and said he had one now too, and that there were plenty more available at the back of the church for anyone who wished to read along. I thought Robert might look embarrassed when Father thanked him, but he only stood quietly with his hat in his hands.

Father said it was a fitting book to begin with, because in France in the nineteenth century, when many people had grown cold in their faith, the story of Lourdes helped awaken belief again. Bernadette was poor and little, but Our Lady used her to call many hearts back to God.

Today’s chapter was about Monseigneur Laurence, the Bishop of Tarbes. He had grown up in the diocese and had taught many of the priests before he became their Bishop. The book made it sound as if he and his clergy were one large Christian family, bound together by trust and obedience.

I liked learning that he was warm-hearted but careful. He did not rush after every report from Lourdes. He waited, watched, prayed, and judged with patience. Sister said that made his approval of Lourdes stronger, because everyone knew he was not carried away by excitement. Father LeRoy said the Church is careful with holy things, because truth does not need to hurry.

All day I kept thinking of the banner moving gently in the breeze. It seemed like Our Lady herself had hung out an invitation. Maybe St. Mary’s is very small, but this morning it felt connected to France, to Lourdes, to Bernadette, and to all the people who found their faith again.

Tonight I am thankful for Sister and Robert’s surprise, for Father LeRoy’s joy, and for the first book of our little reading club.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, help me to love the truth with patience, as Monseigneur Laurence did. Help me to listen humbly, as Bernadette did. Bless our reading club at St. Mary’s, and let Our Lady of Lourdes bring our hearts closer to Thee.

Amen.

Resolution: Tomorrow I will try to read slowly and carefully, and let Our Lady teach me one page at a time.

Click to Read

The Cure Believes

Dear Diary,

This evening I read more from Our Lady of Lourdes, and the chapter stayed with me very quietly after I closed the book.

Bernadette went again to the Curé of Lourdes, just as the Lady had asked her. She told him, “She wishes a chapel to be erected, and processions to the Grotto to be organized.”

As I read, I could almost see it in my mind. I felt as if I were standing in the doorway with Mini beside me, watching it happen. Bernadette looked so small before the priest’s desk, with her hands folded and her face lifted up to him. But the message she carried was not small at all. It was from Heaven.

Mini seemed to be watching too, as if she knew we had stepped into something holy. I stayed quiet in my imagining, because it did not feel like a place for whispering or asking questions. It felt like a place where a little girl was obeying Our Lady, and a priest was beginning to understand.

This time the Curé did not ask for more proof. The spring had already come from the ground, and cures had begun, and God had placed His own signs beside Bernadette’s words. The Curé believed her. He still did not know the Lady’s name, but his heart seemed to know. I liked that very much. Sometimes a holy thing is known before it is spoken.

It made me think of Father LeRoy. Once, after Mass, he said that St. Bernadette did not make herself important, even when Heaven had chosen her. He said she only carried the message and left the rest to God.

“That is why she is so safe to follow,” Father LeRoy said. “She points away from herself.”

I thought of that while imagining Bernadette in the Curé’s room. She did not push or argue. She only came because she had been sent. And even when the Curé believed, he was still careful. He told her that what she asked did not depend on him, but on the Bishop. He would go and tell him.

Sister Mary Claire said true faith is not noisy or hurried. It can be very strong and still wait patiently. I thought of Bernadette, the Curé, and Father LeRoy all at once. Each one had to listen, obey, and trust God’s time.

Tonight, I keep thinking of the chapel Our Lady asked for, and of the processions to the Grotto. A little girl brought the message, a priest believed, and Heaven began to gather people there.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, help me to listen when You speak quietly. Help me to be humble like Bernadette, careful like the Curé, and faithful like Father LeRoy teaches us to be. Let me carry whatever little message You give me without pride, and leave the rest in Your hands.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us.

Resolution: Tomorrow I will try to obey quietly and not make myself important.

Girls of The Gave

 

Dear Diary,

This evening I sat again on the porch steps with Our Lady of Lourdes open on my knees. The sun was going down behind the trees, and the boards of the porch still held a little warmth from the day. Mini came at once and sat right beside me, as if she had made up her mind that I was not to read even one page without her.

Only I am not so sure she came for me.

She kept looking past the book, with her ears lifted and her eyes full of that soft, wondering look she gets when she sees something I almost think I can see too. I told her softly, “Mini, are you listening to Bernadette?” and then I felt as if the story had stepped right out of the pages and sat down beside us.

Tonight the chapter told how the three children left the town behind them and crossed the bridge to the left bank of the Gave. They passed the mill and went down through the meadow, hunting for little pieces of wood to make a small bundle for the fire at home. Bernadette walked behind the others, frail and small, with her apron still empty while the other girls already had gathered chips and branches.

I could see her so plainly as I read—the worn black dress, the white capulet falling over her shoulders, the coarse sabots on her feet, and that poor little figure walking through the meadow with such quiet grace. The book said she was not beautiful in the proud way people sometimes mean, but there was something sweeter and higher in her. Her eyes were calm and pure, and her whole face showed goodness, pity, and innocence.

The words that stayed with me most were “the Majesty of Innocence.”

I stopped reading there for a minute.

It made me think that God sees beauty so differently from the world. Bernadette had no fine clothes and no important place. She was poor, ignorant of many things, and only gathering wood because her family needed warmth. Yet Heaven must have been looking at her already. Maybe Our Lady saw what others would never notice—a little soul without pride, walking humbly behind the rest.

Mini leaned closer then, looking up with such love that I smiled. Perhaps she knew the best part of the story before I did. Perhaps she was not only keeping me company after all. Perhaps she had found a friend on the porch steps too.

And I thought how strange and lovely it is that Bernadette, who had nothing, is remembered now by so many hearts.

Tonight I will try to remember that innocence is a treasure greater than anything one can hold in the hand.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus,
please keep my heart simple and clean.
Teach me to love You in little hidden ways,
and help me never to think small things are unimportant
when they are done for You.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for me.
Saint Bernadette, pray for me.

Amen.

The Story Begins

Dear Diary,
 
This evening I read further in Our Lady of Lourdes, and it seemed the quiet beginning of Bernadette’s great story had opened before me.

It was February 11, 1858, in Lourdes. The day was cold and gray, with only a few drops of rain, and while many people were getting ready for the pleasures before Lent, the Soubirous family had almost nothing. They were so poor that there was not even wood enough to cook their little meal.

Bernadette had only been home with her family about two weeks. She had been living in Bartrès, watching sheep and praying her Rosary in the lonely fields. She was fourteen, but small and weak from asthma, and she still had not made her First Communion. She could not read or write, and she knew very little catechism, except the simple prayers of the Chaplet.

Still, there was something beautiful about her. She was poor and hidden, but pure and gentle, like the smallest lamb she loved best.

When her mother told Bernadette's sister Marie to go gather wood by the Gave, Bernadette begged to go too. Her mother was afraid the cold would make her cough worse, but at last she let her go. Bernadette put on her white capulet, and then she, Marie, and Jeanne Abadie started out to find wood.

That is where the story begins — not with anything grand, but with poor girls going out because there was no firewood at home. I kept thinking how Heaven must have been watching that little walk. Bernadette did not know that this ordinary errand would lead her to the Grotto, and that everything in her life was about to change.

As I read, I almost felt Bernadette beside me on the step. Not frightening, but quiet and kind, like an imaginary friend who understands little prayers, poor places, and the feeling of being small. I felt a kinship with her, as if she were not so far away after all.

Maybe Our Lady loves to come close to the humble, and maybe Jesus sees the hidden children first.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus,

please give me a simple heart like Bernadette’s.

Help me to love Our Lady,
to say my prayers faithfully,
and to trust that You are near
even on ordinary days.

Bless Sister Mary Claire, Father LeRoy, Robert, Mini,
and all of us at Camp Littlemore tonight.

Amen.

Bernadette's Four Prayers