Dear Diary,
Tonight Sister Mary Claire made the bedroom feel like a little secret chapel. We stretched the old patchwork quilt between two chairs and the bed and made a small tent, just big enough for the two of us and Mini. We piled pillows all around and brought a lamp inside so it glowed softly on the quilt pieces.
Mini curled right up beside us as if she knew something special was happening.
Sister Mary Claire had been reading to me about the children at Fatima. The story grew very quiet and serious, and even Mini seemed to listen.
She read how Lucy, Jacinta, and Francis were out in the fields when suddenly a brilliant flash of lightning appeared in the sky, though there were no clouds at all. Thinking a storm might be coming, they began to gather their sheep and walk home. But right in the middle of the field another bright flash appeared, even stronger than the first.
Sister Mary Claire paused when she read that part, and I could almost imagine the children standing there, not knowing what was happening.
Then she read how the children were passing near a small oak tree when suddenly a wonderful light surrounded them. When they opened their eyes they saw a beautiful young Lady standing above the tree. She was dressed in the purest white and light seemed to shine all around her. A veil edged with golden thread covered her head and fell all the way to her feet.
The children were so amazed and frightened they almost ran away, but the Lady made a gentle motion with her hands and spoke in such a kind voice that they stayed.
Lucy asked, “Where are you from, Madam?”
The Lady answered, “I am from Heaven.”
When Sister Mary Claire read those words she looked up at me and smiled a little, and we both sat very still for a moment.
The Lady told them to return on the thirteenth day of each month for six months, and that in October she would tell them who she was and what she wished.
Lucy asked if they would go to Heaven, and the Lady said yes. But when Lucy asked about Francis, the Lady said he would go to Heaven too, but first he must pray many rosaries.
Then the Lady asked them something very important. She asked if they were willing to offer sacrifices to God and to accept sufferings for the conversion of sinners and to make reparation for offenses against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Sister Mary Claire said that was a very brave thing to ask of children. But Lucy answered right away, “Yes, we are willing.”
The Lady smiled at them and said they would have much to suffer, but the grace of God would always help them.
When Sister Mary Claire read the part where the Lady opened her hands and a beautiful light poured into their souls, it made me feel very quiet inside. The children fell to their knees and cried out:
“O Most Holy Trinity, I adore Thee!
My God, my God, I love Thee!”
Sister Mary Claire said that when God gives light to a soul, it helps a person see things clearly and love Him more.
The Lady asked them one more thing before she left. She asked them to pray the rosary every day for peace in the world and for the conversion of sinners.
Then the children watched as she rose into the light of the sun and disappeared.
For a little while after Sister Mary Claire finished reading, we both just sat quietly in the tent. The lamp made the quilt glow softly and Mini rested her chin on my knee.
Sister Mary Claire said that Our Lady often asks for simple things — prayer, sacrifice, and the rosary — but those simple things can help many souls.
Before we climbed out of the tent we knelt together on the pillows and said a little prayer.
Dear Blessed Mother,
Lady from Heaven, help us remember to pray the rosary each day just as you asked the children at Fatima.
Teach us to love God more, to offer little sacrifices with joy, and to help bring peace to the world.
Keep us close to your Immaculate Heart and guide us safely to Heaven one day.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy ✍️
Dear Diary,
This evening, after the chores were finished and the house had grown quiet, Sister Mary Claire and I finally sat down together to read the meditation for Wednesday. We had meant to read it earlier, but the day slipped along the way farm days often do. The lamps were glowing softly and Mini curled up right beside us on the rug.
The meditation told about Jesus standing before Pilate. Pilate asked Him if He was the King of the Jews, and Jesus answered that His kingdom was not of this world. Sister Mary Claire read those words slowly and then closed the book for a moment so we could think about them.
She explained that Jesus truly is a King, but His kingdom is not like the kingdoms of this earth. It is made of people who follow His truth and live by His teachings. She said His kingdom is built from humility, patience, love, and mercy, not power or riches.
Then Sister Mary Claire said something that made me think very hard. She said that sometimes the world becomes very confused about what is true. She said that lies can be repeated over and over again until people begin to believe them. If we are not careful, she said, we might even begin to mix up truth with untruth without realizing it.
“But truth does not change,” she told me. “It belongs to God.”
She explained that Pilate stood right in front of the Truth Himself and still could not recognize Him. Pilate was thinking like the world thinks—about power and politics and earthly kingdoms—so he could not see the deeper truth standing before him.
Sister Mary Claire said that is why Jesus said He came into the world to give testimony to the truth. His words, His life, and even His suffering all showed what real truth looks like.
She said the Church helps guide us so we do not get lost when the world becomes noisy with so many different voices. If we stay close to Jesus and listen to Him, then we will not be easily confused.
Mini gave a long sleepy sigh and stretched out beside us, resting her chin on her paws as if she understood everything perfectly.
Before going to bed we knelt together and said a little prayer.
Dear Jesus, our true King,
You came into the world to show us the truth.
Help us to listen to Your voice when so many other voices try to speak louder.
Keep our hearts humble and faithful, so we may always follow what is true.
Let Your kingdom live quietly inside us until the day we see You face to face.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
Dear Diary,
This evening Sister Mary Claire and I sat by the fireplace while the fire burned softly. Mini was curled up on the rug, resting her head on her paws. I was reading aloud from my book Our Lady of Lourdes.
Tonight I read how Bernadette returned home after seeing the mysterious Lady and had to tell her parents she must return to the Grotto for fifteen days. Soon the story spread everywhere. It was market day in Lourdes, and by evening people across the valleys were talking about the visions.
Crowds began gathering at the Grotto. At first there were about a hundred people, then hundreds more, and soon thousands.
But the strange thing was that the people saw almost nothing.
They only saw a poor little girl kneeling and praying.
Sister Mary Claire said that sometimes the greatest things God does are hidden. Bernadette could see the Lady, but most people only saw her faith.
Many people believed, but others laughed and said Bernadette must be imagining things. The learned men used big words and tried to explain it as an illness.
Yet when people spoke with Bernadette, they saw how simp truthful she was.
What touched me most was that Bernadette was only a little girl, and yet she quietly kept returning to the Grotto to pray.
That seemed the most beautiful thing of all.
After I finished reading, we sat quietly watching the fire for a while. I thought about Bernadette and about praying with a simple heart.
Before bed we said our prayer.
Evening Prayer
Dear Blessed Mother of Lourdes, please give me a simple and faithful heart like Bernadette’s. Help me to believe and to pray with love.
Watch over Sister Mary Claire and our dear little Mini tonight.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
Dear Diary,
This morning Robert picked us up for Mass and we all sat together in the front pew—Sister Mary Claire, Robert, Mini, and me. Mini behaved very nicely in church and tucked herself down quietly beside us like she understood we were listening to something important.
Father LeRoy spoke in his homily about the meditation for today, which told about the morning when the council of the Jews delivered Jesus to the Roman governor. Father explained that after the terrible night when Jesus was mocked and mistreated, the priests did not rest long. Even before daylight they gathered again because they were determined to see Jesus condemned.
Father said it is surprising how much energy people can spend when they are doing something wrong. Those men lost sleep and hurried through the early morning just to carry out their hatred toward Jesus. Then Father looked out at us and said sometimes we can be the opposite—we grow tired or slow when it comes to doing something good, even something small that God asks of us.
That made me sit up a little straighter in the pew.
Then Father spoke about something even more beautiful. He said that Jesus Himself was waiting for the morning too. But not for the same reason as His enemies. Jesus knew everything that was about to happen, and He willingly accepted it because He wanted to save us.
Father said Jesus greeted the coming dawn like someone welcoming the most important day of His life—the day He would give His life so the whole world could live.
When Father said that, I tried to imagine Jesus sitting quietly through the long night, praying for the very people who were planning His death. It made my heart feel very soft and sad at the same time.
Sister Mary Claire whispered after Mass that Jesus loved us so much that He longed for the day of His sacrifice, because it meant our salvation. Robert said it makes a person want to try a little harder to do small sacrifices during Lent.
I think I understand that a little now. If Jesus was willing to give everything for us, maybe I can give Him small things too—like being patient, helping with chores right away, or saying a prayer when it is easier not to.
When we came home Mini ran through the yard like she had saved up all her energy during Mass. But I kept thinking about Jesus waiting for that dawn long ago, ready to give His whole life because He loved us.
Evening Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for loving us so much that You were willing to suffer and give Your life for us. Help me not to be lazy in doing good. Teach me to make small sacrifices with love so I can show You how grateful I am.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
Dear Diary,
This afternoon warmed up to 49 degrees, which felt almost like spring after so many cold days. After lunch I tucked my Lourdes book under my arm and Mini stood by the door with her ears straight out in airplane mode, ready to go. We walked down to the cave by Indian Creek, which I like to think of as my little grotto, like the grotto in Lourdes.
Inside it was quiet and peaceful. I lit a few small sticks in the stove Robert installed last fall, and Mini curled up beside me while I read.
The chapter was called “The Story Spreads Through Lourdes.” At first only a few children knew about Bernadette seeing the beautiful Lady, but soon the whole town was talking. Some people believed her right away because she was such a simple and honest girl. Others wondered if it could really be true. But the story kept spreading anyway.
It reminded me of the still water behind Shaggycoat’s dam on Indian Creek. When a little stone drops in, the ripples spread farther and farther across the quiet water. That is how the story of the Lady spread through Lourdes—touching more and more people.
Soon the stove burned down to glowing embers and the light at the cave entrance turned soft and golden. It felt like a very good way to spend the afternoon of the Third Sunday of Lent.
Evening Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Please help me to have a simple and trusting heart like Bernadette when I think about Our Lady and the beautiful things of Heaven.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
Dear Diary,
The snow was almost gone from the fields, and for a few days it had felt like spring was trying to come. But today the wind came roaring across the prairie and seemed to whip up new weather all by itself. Little flurries of snow skittered across the ground, and the cold made it feel like the middle of winter again. It was 30 degrees, but with the strong wind it felt more like 15, so it was surely a day to stay close to home.
Since Sunday would be Church day, today was quiet and plain. We did only the chicken chores and nothing extra. I bundled up and hurried out with Sister Mary Claire while Mini came along beside us, low to the ground and quick about it, as if she knew very well this was no day for fooling around. The hens were glad to see us, and I gathered the eggs as fast as I could before we all hurried back in out of the cold.
Once we were warm again, Sister Mary Claire read the meditation about Peter’s repentance. It told how Peter had denied Our Lord three times, and then the cock crowed, just as Jesus had said it would. When Peter remembered, and when the truth of what he had done came over him, he went out and wept bitterly. Sister explained it so gently. She said Peter truly did love Jesus, but he had been weak and frightened. His tears were not just tears of shame, but tears of love too, because he knew what it meant to have failed Someone so good.
That stayed with me all day. I suppose it is easy to think I would have been brave if I had been there, but Sister said that we all have little chances to be like Peter when we are afraid, or when we fail to stand close to Jesus as we should. Still, she said the beautiful thing is that Peter did not stay away. He was sorry, and his sorrow brought him back. Sister said repentance is not the end of love at all, but often where love begins to grow stronger and truer.
Mini slept by the stove most of the afternoon with her chin on her paws while the wind kept rattling at the house. It felt good to be safe indoors, and yet the meditation made everything feel solemn. I kept thinking how kind Our Lord must be, to look on Peter after such a denial and still draw him back with love. It makes me think that no matter how poor and weak I am, Jesus still wants me to come back to Him with a sorry heart and not be afraid.
Tomorrow we will go to Church, and I think I will remember Peter when I kneel down in the pew. I will remember that tears of true sorrow are precious to Jesus, and that He can make even a weak heart faithful again.
Evening Prayer
Dear Jesus,
when I am weak or frightened, please do not let me wander far from You.
Give me a sorry heart like Peter’s, and help me always come back quickly to Your love.
Make me faithful in little things, and keep Sister, Mini, and me close to You tonight.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
March 6, 1956
Dear Diary,
This morning Robert picked us up as usual and right on time at the mailbox on his way to St. Mary’s. Sister Mary Claire and I climbed into the pickup and Mini came along with us, settling down happily as we started down the gravel road toward town. The sky looked pale and quiet, and it felt like one of those mornings when everyone is thinking quietly before the day really begins.
Sister had today’s meditation from The Circling Year with her, and she began reading it aloud as we rode. The meditation was about Peter denying Jesus on the night of His Passion. I have always liked Peter because he was brave and strong and loved Jesus very much. But the meditation reminded us that when the moment came and people started asking Peter if he knew Jesus, he became afraid.
The first time someone asked him, he said he did not know Jesus. Then again someone recognized him, and again Peter denied it. Finally a third time he said he did not know the Lord at all. The meditation explained that Peter was frightened of what might happen to him. Even though he loved Jesus, fear made him forget his courage.
Sister said this shows how weak even the best people can be when they are afraid. Peter had promised Jesus he would never leave Him, but when the danger came he forgot his promise.
At Mass Father LeRoy spoke about this during his homily. He said Peter’s denial is sad, but it is also comforting in a way, because it reminds us that even the saints had moments of weakness. Father said Peter loved Jesus deeply, but he trusted too much in his own strength. When fear came, he discovered that he could fall just like anyone else.
Father also told us the most important part of the story is what happened next. When Peter heard the rooster crow, he remembered Jesus’ words and realized what he had done. The Gospel says Peter went away and wept bitterly. Father said those tears were not just sadness—they were the beginning of Peter’s repentance and his return to Jesus.
As Father spoke, I imagined Peter standing in the cold night outside the courtyard, hearing the rooster crow and suddenly remembering everything Jesus had told him. It must have hurt his heart terribly to know he had denied his dear Master.
On the ride home Sister said the meditation is meant to make us think about our own courage. Sometimes we may not deny Jesus with words like Peter did, but we can forget Him in smaller ways—when we are embarrassed to speak about our faith or when we do not stand up for what is right.
Robert said the important thing is to remember what Peter did after his fall. He did not run away forever. He turned back to Jesus with a sorry heart.
That made me feel hopeful. If Peter could become a great saint after such a moment, then Jesus must be very patient and merciful with all of us.
Tonight the farm is quiet, and Mini is already asleep beside the bed. I keep thinking about Peter and his tears, and how Jesus must have forgiven him.
Evening Prayer
Dear Jesus,
Please give me courage so that I never turn away from You when I am afraid.
And if I ever forget You like Peter did,
please help me remember You again and come back with a sorry heart.
Amen.
Love,
Kathy
