Jesus, Jesus

Dear Diary,

Today I read something St. Thérèse once said:

“Jesus, Jesus, if it is so sweet to desire love, how sweet will it be to possess it, to enjoy it for all eternity?”

I kept thinking about it while Mini was sitting beside me. She had her little chin resting on my knee, looking up at me the way she does when she wants to be close. She doesn’t always jump or bark. Sometimes she just leans. She just wants to be near.

And I thought — maybe that is what St. Thérèse means.

Even when I only want to love Jesus better, there is already something warm inside. It’s like when Mini waits at the door for Sister to come home. She isn’t with her yet, but her tail (well… her little bottom) wiggles anyway because she knows love is coming.

If it is already sweet just to long for Jesus, just to whisper His name and wish to be closer — then how sweet will it be when we are truly with Him? Not just hoping. Not just reaching. But resting in Him forever.

Sometimes my heart aches a little because I know I don’t love Him as much as I should. But maybe that ache is not a bad thing. Maybe it is like Mini pressing closer when she wants to be held — a sign that I was made for more closeness than I have right now.

If wanting Him feels this gentle and hopeful, then Heaven must feel like finally being gathered up and never having to wait again.

Tonight I will let my heart lean toward Jesus the way Mini leans toward me — quiet, trusting, and sure that love is near.

Love,

Kathy