Keeping Watch with Jesus

Dear Diary,

Father brought today’s meditation from The Circling Year right into his homily. It said that believing isn’t only something we say—it is something we must live, especially when following Jesus feels costly.

Father LeRoy spoke about the Garden, and how Our Lord let Himself be taken prisoner. Jesus could have stopped it, but He chose obedience and love. Father said Lent asks us to stay close to Jesus in that hour—when fear and confusion come—and not run away in our hearts. He said we can “keep watch” with Jesus by being faithful in small things: choosing prayer, choosing kindness, and returning our thoughts to God when they wander.

During the homily I held the old photograph from Gramma’s prayer book—only now I’m almost sure it is Gramma, when she was a little girl. She looks so much like me in it that it made my heart feel funny, like I was seeing myself in another time. The way she folds her hands, the way her eyes look up—she seems like she’s listening for God the way I try to.

I kept thinking: if Gramma was like me, then maybe she had wandering thoughts too, and still she learned to bring them back. Maybe she had days when she felt afraid inside, the way the disciples must have felt when Jesus was taken away. And maybe she whispered her prayers anyway, holding steady when everything felt uncertain. I imagined her kneeling quietly, loving Jesus, trying not to run away in her heart.

All at once Father was giving the final blessing. Sister Mary Claire tapped my shoulder and whispered, “Time to go.” I startled, then smiled, and slipped Gramma’s photograph back inside the prayer book like a little secret to keep safe. Mini stayed close with us as we walked out, as if she was helping me remember to keep watch.

Evening Prayer

Dear Jesus, as You were taken prisoner for love of us, help me stay close to You and not drift away. Help me live what I believe in the small, ordinary moments. And thank You for Gramma, who was so much like me—please let her prayers help me be brave and faithful too. Amen.

Love,

Kathy